He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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