i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the day after is always just damage control
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
