Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
