i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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