weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
