Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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