The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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