I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I supernannyed him into submission
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
