im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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