This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
