Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so let's talk penis.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
