$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
