worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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