so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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