He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
