i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
