dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
