so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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