Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
