i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
