Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
