I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
