dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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