Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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