i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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