could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
