the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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