u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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