yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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