I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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