I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
