You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
