No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
