Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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