so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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