Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize