Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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