so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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