This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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