So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i would punch a child for taco bell
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
