oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
