youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
