We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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