We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
