Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
