she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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