I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
