Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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