Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize