It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
