I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
