i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
