I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
