I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
