there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
