She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
