So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
