I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
