My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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