I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He better not be in your backpack
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
