Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
