is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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